Wednesday 25 June 2008

我哭了。。。。

2 comments
今天,和平常一样~
起身后,就和cc 聊天。。。。
说重点,现在的心情不是很好。。。觉得很沉重,我不知道是不是我错了。
刚刚,吃好饭后,我急着跑上来想要和cc聊天,怕她等我等太久。
因为这样,还被我妹妹骂了一顿~心想,算了。。。。
就上来和cc抱怨了一堆,cc同时也和我抱怨了些事情。所以她心情很不好~
我知道她心情很不好,我可以感觉得到~但,我不知道是不是为了她和我所抱怨的事情。
说真的,我很想把你留下来再继续陪我聊天。但我知道,你心情很槽,就让你去睡觉了。
当你和我说的话,我在想你们是好朋友,不应该是这样的。
像我就不会和我的好朋友这样。

我不知道你是怎么想的。。。。我很想帮你,但我不知道我该说些什么来安慰你。
我心疼了,他不该这样~好几次,我按下了他,接着又把他关了。
直到,你去睡了,我就按下了他。
在没按下他之前,我已经有了心理准备,我知道他还会用言语来伤我。
因为我知道他,就像之前,他问我。。。**朋友,这个字的时候。
我犹豫了,我以什么资格,什么立场,什么身份来说他?
但,我管不了那么多了~我说出来了。。。
果然,不出我所料~第一句就被他刺中了心坎里~
我要他顾虑下别人的感受~
他问我,关我什么事?
顿时,我的眼泪就不受控制的流下来。
我哭了,我不知道我为什么要哭,又让我记起心痛的感觉。。。
但我不想看到cc心情低落。我也会跟着她低落。
我。。。无话可说。。。我认错,我道歉~
我开始觉得他很幼稚。
但,我不会恨他,我会继续原谅他的无知。
也许,是我太鸡婆,要去自找骂~ 是我太看得起我自己了。
我只是想说出来而已,仅此而已。


懂得尊重你的朋友。。。


我来更新了。。。因为刚刚心情比较平静了,就再找他~
其实,他刚刚和我说的不关我的事,意思应该是说,不用我烦恼他们的事吧?
我不确定,但,我希望是这样~让我觉得怪不好意思地
眼泪也白流了~然后,还误会人家。。。。真想挖个地洞了!!!
然后,又说了几下,我想我帮不上什么忙~也不知道该怎么做。
我就不再说了, 然后他说,不是说我很幼稚么?干嘛还和我说话? 哈哈哈哈~
很可爱莫。。。害我忍不住,想摸摸他的头~是我太大惊小怪了。
还有件事,就是kk 咯。。。我决定原谅他了~本来我是很生他气的,
但看在他是第一个跑来关心我的人,我就不和他计较了。。。

p.S = cc, 你说过,我对你还有些些的保留,是因为我的之前的关系~~~
但是,我想说的是,或许会有一点点,但是,几乎是裸露的~ 你明白我的意思吗?
可你却,放了很多事在你心里。也许,我劝不了你~但我相信,*他的出发点是好意的。
他也是为了你好~我是指另一方面。男生嘛,毕竟没女生来的细心,都会忽略很多事。
所以,就像你说的,他是 a part of your life and i am sure he is the same.....


Tuesday 24 June 2008

Metro Center ^^

1 comments

Today go shopping again lar......
With Annie, Esther, Sharon, Pauline and Jasmine~~~
Actually Eijing join us today, but he go to find Johnny
and come together with Johnny, so we didn't meet up
We continued to our shopping hours looo
Girls really like to shopping what, even nothing to buy but still like to shop shop shop!!!
After that i am sure go home with big bag and small bag la...
And What the Hell...Today really spend a lots...
I go to the bank want to close my current account,
and yet they say me over drawn!!! walao eh~
charged me six pound daily......really suck and yet i just received the letter today said that have to charge for the over draft and my account already over drawn.....
I have no choice la..need to pay sixty pound for that....
Really wanna point middle fingers for them!!!!
Kaos....i can buy so many things mor, sixty pound eh~
Rm240+++...memang celaka one!

Sien si wor mor....Then of course continued shopping la....Don't care liao
also need to pay what!!! After meet up with Esther we wait the no.100 bus at the bus stop lor
and then ler....of course la, we taking picture again in the bus....hiak hiak
This is me with Sharon~
Can only see half Pauline, Jasmine and Sharon.... lols

This is me alone lor....hihi



Everyone is tired liao....
We are in Internationale while Sharon is paying her staff!!!
After shopping and for sure we have our big meal looo~
Today dinner is Pizza Hut....haha
I haven't eat Pizza Hut for nearly one year liao...
Cause always no go in Pizza Hut~
And yah...Finally i have pizza as our dinner luuuu ^^ so happy lar....hehehe~ Eat until i wan vomit la...so so so full mor

look delicious right? garlic cheese bread and potato wedges and the middle one is chicken wing with some tomato source....
Annie and Esther can't wait to have a bit on them already~~haha
See see...our large Pizza with Hawaii Favour~ and also add with cheesy bites...yum yum ~
haha....

This is my drinks....Apple with blackcurrant juice....look beautiful right? like wine~~lols
actually it is not!






Finished....So full~~~~
Annie and Esther is leaving....They going to the Just ten
While 3 of us, continued shopping la~
Wah, my leg really pain la!!!!!
Reach home at last...really tired eh~
want to sleep soon....i miss cc ler....
tomorrow find her chat! kekeke
See diok bui? I miss u lar....lols




Sunday 22 June 2008

感慨~

2 comments
今天,没有很早起来。。。
因为又去睡回头觉了,等我起来时,cc 还没回来~~~
真是的,害我闷死去!!!

然后就去找东西吃咯。。。。下午了
没东西吃,唉~~~都不知道日子是怎么过的
有一餐每一餐的, 呵呵~
结果我回来时,msn有很多人找我。。。怎么这个时候那么多人找我啊
真是奇怪~~~

我觉得我自己不够坚强,
每当碰到爱情,就会变得不知所措。。。。变得不能开口
有时,我很讨厌自己的懦弱。还记得,和他在一起时,我常常都想到他,眼泪就不听使唤的一直流出来。。。。是因为心真的痛了~~~
每天,就为了一点小事也好,就可以把我伤的伤痕累累。
我不知道我是怎么了,也许这就是主给我的教训。如果我可以选择,我真的很想不理他。
但是,我做不到。。。看到他,箭头又忍不住地按下他,就算只有一句问候也好~
也许,是我心太寂寞了,太容易喜欢上任何人~
许多的无奈加上无奈。。。我知道我还很在意,但我每次都否认。
让我自己觉得这是我的错觉,不是这样的!你是坚强的!你不可以再这样依赖着他!
而且,他已经不再是你的谁,就算是,你也得认清自己的地位,自己的位置~
我选择了去忘记以前的事。。。。我希望,就如peter daddy说的,时间会冲淡一切~

我想要天天开心的我。。。。没有烦恼的我
在别人面前,总是很开心的我~
这就是我的自信所在。

珊珊的世界里,从来都没有烦恼^^
就算有太多的不开心,但开心永远都比不开心要来得多
不开心将永远的被遗忘~

突然,我想起了我的婆婆和公公。。。眼泪又会不停的流
我很爱哭啦,说到我很爱哭,让我想起曾经有个人,看着我哭,对我说
你哭什么?哭能够解决问题吗?我的心真的好痛好痛,痛得以失去了知觉~
我以我的婆婆和公公为荣~ 虽然他们都去世了,但我会永远记住他们的。。。
我很想哭,因为,我总觉得我不够孝顺,我做得太少了

记得当时,我很不喜欢我的婆婆,对公公也没什么感情。。。
因为公公是个不喜欢说话的人,常常都不苟言笑,所以我们都很怕他。
但是,他因为有糖尿病,身体开始不好,到最后变成老人痴呆~~~
我们都和他们一起住~ 而我婆婆,我不喜欢她是因为,她很吝啬。。。
而且她比较疼小儿子,我爸爸是第2个~很不公平~
她很喜欢说我,而我常常应嘴。。。所以我很讨厌她
直到她得了胃癌,她常进出医院,因为她是在kuching接受治疗
所以很常不在家。。。也很少机会看到她
就在她回来sibu而进医院时,有时,就会轮到我到医院照顾她~
当时,我会和她聊天,然后陪她。
现在,他们都去世了,我真的很想再有多一点点地时间陪他们
时间不能回去了。。。我觉得我婆婆真的很坚强,也许在她内心里
是多么的害怕,多么的牵挂,但是我们从来都不知道
她还是那么倘然的面对病魔,与病魔作战。。。

现在想起来,我觉得我做得太少了
每当想起他们眼泪也会跟着留下来~
也许是我太爱哭了,每当想起他们离开的那一刻
我眼泪就会不听使唤的拼命流~

希望他们回到主的怀抱里
可以过得更好,不要再感到痛~
原主一直看顾着他们!
感谢主。。。



Saturday 21 June 2008

Saturday o.0

2 comments


This is sansan la....see my face so many pimples....
and red red deee....
cause of the weather lor, make my skin so dry
haihzzz~~~~
Summer now, i thought summer will become warm but still cold like hell.....
Everyday hide in the house only....cause outside very cold la!!!
and yet cc also shouting there....so cold so cold
hahaha~~~~ gila, but really cold la = ="""
Today also same as usual lar.....so boring mor!!! And my sister ar.....make me awake~
6.30 already wake up liao mor....duh
then can't sleep again!!! that cc ar, havent back mor then still say she will be back after i wake up. Lie me deeee = ="""
And finally, she back liao....then we continue chat chat chat lar
really donno wats the point we chatting about.....Sigh
Hmmm....sometimes i just hate my reaction la, u know not me dont want to answer la
i really donno how to answer la...SAD
but anyways....it already past~~~~
Yeah...thats my life for today
and last few day i had go to Morrison with my friends....
Morrison is really huge ehhh
U can find anythings in there~~~
This is wat we put in the trolly la...
many things right???


This really weird la....1st time see diok red banana mor....
This is pizza....difference ingredients ooo ^^

Wednesday 18 June 2008

Down down down~

2 comments
I am so down today....I don't know why~
I just feel down!!!
Suddenly, i got a feelings that pass by my heart~
I feel very lonely, no one can understand me!
I don't know why i feel so, although i chat with cc, but i can't even cheer up
until now, i still feel so down~

Only cc chatting with me for whole day....
i really feel upset~ i don't know why, when i tell cc everything but my mood still dead.
Sad.....really sad! Why i still so care about him? I hate like this~it is i started feel lonely again?
I don't know, where can i find my answer? God, please lead me....please!
And i guess those who read my blog will found that i always mention cc don't u?
cc, are you my good friend? you ask me before, and i said Yes, U are. How about me?
Am i your good friend too? As u know me, i am a straight person. I don't like to have many action in front of people, i hate people have many action.
And i am not a person who like to `pai ma pi` i am not! I will tell you the true, cause i trust u
but i don't know how to comfort people, i am weak in that.

There are too much pro to hurt me. Family, friends and love. I don't know why i feel so hurt and so pain, the scar that left in my heart, i really feel hurt~
Sometimes, i don't even dare to face those problems. I choose to escape from there.
when i write until here, i found that i just talking about nonsense.
Sorry to bother you to read my blog......
And i really don't know what am i talking about....May be you can just ignored me
I break up with him not because he hurt me, cause if really wan me to choose
good friend or boy friend i rather have good friend, i know i cant stop to feel jealous
so i just let it go, may be this is a good way for us
and now, i put all my heart on you. And sometimes, i also ask myself
are you my good friend? i also don't know.....pointless

i really donno what am i talking now.....myself also blur now
i think i need a good rest~ yes i need
sigh......i still cant end up with any expression of my emotion
i just lost my way~~~

Monday 16 June 2008

Home alone......

0 comments


I am staying at home alone.....
Sharon and Pauline having exam today~~~
Then i see Jeff in the house so we asked him whether if we can put our things here
when we go back to malaysia, but he said we need to pay 40 pounds per person and for 2 months....Walao!!! SI Jeff, already earn so many still want to earn ....
hate le, then we need to carry our larguage and put at friend's house le~~~

After that, i feel very hungry lar~ Then i want to go GREEGS to buy cheese and onion lar~
But ler, din sell.....then i go to Netto to buy some minced beef, pasta, carrots, red onion and some mushroom~~~And then i cooked poridge again as my breakfast and lunch lar...
Wah, so full mor~~~~ full until wan vomit, u know la....eat too much
but it really teaste nice make me can't stop to eat lols~~~
Oh yah...actually i planing to cook `paper wrap chicken` arh~ and my sister say she is hungry liao...cant wait for chicken liao lar.....so we just changed la...
haha!!! may be tomorrow i will take the pic of the chicken la....

Just now afternoon playing cam with cc ar....she say i look difference with my picture
haha.....i am also agree with that la~~~
I look more ugly in real mah...duh = =" its true anyways....
But my stupid computer la, kena virus!!! Dam stupid de mor....
which idiot la.....making lots of virus and spread it around on net......Really stupid
luckily luckily cc ask her friend help me, and now i think the virus is nearly finished deleted
but i am not sure la....nvm lo~ Two more weeks la, i can throw this laptop back for my father
wuahaha....cause the memory space ar, really small until this cannot download that cannot download....hate lar!!! stupid com
And yet i miss my laptop a lots....lol!!!! I want to Thanks CC and her fren Xiao Bao~
Next time chia u eat hor jiak de...cc pay!!! hahaha

Okays, now jump to my dinner ...hiak hiak
i am sure your saliva is rolling down now~haha
and i also take some picture as well~~~ Tonight i cooked spaghetti and some seaweed soup
slurp slurp...sounds nice right??? hahaha.....




We are going to Morrison tomorrow
wait for my pictures yah...i will post it when i free or when i take the pictures
hehehe......
its time to bath now anyways~
Continued enjoying my life yeah!!! I just love my life just like it to be like this~
May God bless~

Sunday 15 June 2008

Boring Sunday~

4 comments
Hmmm....i would like to start somethings about my life in the morning

When i am sleeping and were in my dreams...suddenly ring!ring!ring!
the phone is ringing....wah so noisy,beh tahan then just take up and listen
Harlo.....wow a lovely voice from the other side, thats my lilttle brother~
Harlo jeje, what are you doing?
I answer : sleeping lo,why so early call me?
bro : wats the time over there now?
I answer : nearly 7 only la....kanasai
and my little sister shout at the back : we always wake up at 5.30 morning lar....
Then my mom coming, harlo...............................Du!Du!Du!
Walao eh....stupid phone, dont know what happen with it....and then i call back, but cant connect
for few time dialing, then i just go play computer directly~

Wuwuwu.....i miss my lilttle brother and sister...miss them a lots
Sigh, its a boring days again = ="
I feel headache and asleep but my brain still in awaken situation
really mad..... after brush my teeth wash my face, i make a cup of `maik maik` wheat
lols....nice nice and yum yum while chatting with cc...lols
Today cc is quiet mor~ donno what happen with her o....
and then then, she chatting in mirc la bo hiuh me...then i go watch movies luuu
but dam it, its doesnt working~ walao really kanasai ler
make me wanna scold bad words only....lols
Chit chat chit chat...... none -stop for whole day
Still bored bored bored~~~ but what can i do? just boring what!!!

Then then, i cooked some porridge as our dinner la...
walao my porridge ar, can sell liao....really nice mor ~wakakaka
I love it soo much ^^
i think i going to bed soon....less of energy now
Now, i promised them cook ` paper wrap chicken` tomorrow....
haha, cos they have finish their exam...lols
and Tuesday we going to the big big supermarket luuuu ^^
headache when see my staff....so many~

Shopping day on Saturday

2 comments



Today Sharon, Pauline and i plan to go shopping ^^
Actually we have plan that since last few days, but the stupid weather lor
very cold so we just decided to stay at home and hiding in my warm warm duvet!!!
lolss....what else can i do???
Oh yah, chatting with frens on msn, watching movies and so so la
besides, i washing my clothes la, cos need to pack up le mar ^^ keke
its the time to go home....hahaha~~~ although still not the day
but soon lor......so excited!!!

Hmm.....its all about craps right? i am just too loso lo...haha
okay lets talk about my shopping time....
I wake up in the morning, and then find cc la,who know cc no there, i just feel weird
where this cc go again!!! yesterday also no there....got a bit miss her la
haha....actually wan to sms her de, but after do this and that then forget ki~ lols
And then we go to Eldon Square find some clothes and then Primarks and many la....
We just go into every shop that we like to go in,
Then when i was in The Body Shop to find some facial staff, `These is for my people who lost
somebody, your best friend your baby your man or your lady' this is my ring tone lar.... lols
Who call me har, harlo harlo, cc arh!!! She say she miss me lar....wakakaka, then ask me go home
online find her...lol~ and then continue shop shop shop~
Finally i can have my lunch liao ... In Burger King yeah!!! But i cant finish with my XL bacon double cheese burger, its too big~ lol....and it cost me 5 pounds quite okay right? when u convert into RM ....oh no = =" Rm35 haihyo...can eat whole family liao as i always say!


The picture is taking in the morning when going to shop~
Everyone is tired lo...then we just go home, fast fast look for cc, finally she got response lar.....She everyday know blogging there nia... kekeke~~~ Then we just bilibala a lots there... i also donno what we r talking about = =" lols.......but but Shirley calling....harloharlo~~~
Tonight we going to sing K, do you gals wanna join us? sing K ar, okay okay of cos i wan to go la
i had never go before la....so excited, so everyone dress up nicely and sexy....wakakaka
but i feel disappointed after i reach there = ="
There is just having dinner actually.... and its buffet of steambot. And then we can sing K for free.....After eating singing so happily and its the time to go home liao~ already 11.30 liao!!!
Oh no....when paying its cost 30 pounds around RM 210 2 person....what the hell~~~
But the town is still many peoples, you can see some drunker, sexy gals and so on....

Having steambot and singing K ^^4 gals and 1 boy,he is so shy to take pic...hahaha


However its quite nice and fun....
and yet Shirley praised me....haha
She said i can sing well... lols =) but i donno how is it....haha
i just love that songs ^^

Going to bed soon...tired le lor~
Eyes feel heavy liu...
May God Bless~

Wednesday 11 June 2008

Just headache.....

0 comments
Sigh....i really don't know what happen with me....
i feel very headache, very asleep, very pain now~
but when i lying on my bed, i can't sleep!!!
Even i lying there for 2 hours, my brain still in awaken situation
oh my God, i really don't know what happen with me?
Am i thinking too much? actually i should be feelings relax and stress less
after the exams, but i am not!!!!

Now, i am just too excited.... i want to go back home deadly!!!
i miss my buddy, miss my  family, miss my foods and many......
gosh....i think i am little bit crazy now = =" it's already 1 and 3 now
i still can't make any conclusion that what am i thinking of?
is that funny? and it surprise, i have break up yesterday without any tears rolling on my face
this really make me shock.....i just don't know why~


sigh.....
going to continue chat with friends in msn
that's all~