事过境迁～

昨天有位兄弟回国了
我们有了一些的分享，
让我有了些感触
在这里的日子，我记得很清楚，不知道为什么我却记得
让我想起中学的日子，我还真的记不起来
也许，过得太开心，太快乐了～

我所怀念的是这里的一切
什么地方，什么人，发生了什么事
这是让人想念的
我真的很想念以前的日子
但是，明明知道时间不能回到过去
我想说，我真的很想念以前的日子，但是
我知道那些都会不到的过去

之前还很执着，但现在已经放下了
终于了解到，只能回味的过去，很多遗憾不能够弥补
没想到，快乐所带来的悲伤，更加心痛
虽然风景依然在，却人事已非
只变成在脑海中浮现的非白画面和笑声

谢谢你们经过我的生命，
让它添上了彩色，笑声

也谢谢你们
让我知道没有了你们，我还是可以活得很好

曲终，人亦散
事过境迁
面目全非
回忆，依然。徘徊

珊
随笔

Blanked...

I am who i am......
this sentence seems familiar to everyone!
Everyone just want to be themselves, no one else would like to
change to others because of something can i say this is an attitude?
Well, we can say whatever we like when we are free or in young age?
Have u ever think about, when you are in the real society
and the pressure upon you, which always watching ur attitudes,
you are force to change or with a mask on yourself


Sometimes, we may sick with this world, but we cannot leave aside
I was so excited alone, as i planned to give a birthday surprised for S
but then, it seems end up with not a little bit of surprising ???
Although we make quite lots of fun, but i feel so bad that, seems my appeared
make her not into moods.
-I mean like, she feel annoying? when i am around?
-She blamed me i am dirty when i sit on her bed before i take my shower?
-She kinda stress on her work, as she need to keep me accompany then she cannot do her work?
-She cannot skype with her bf or talk to him properly when i am there?
-She feel annoying when i talking to her?

I feel so upset when i am back from her place,
i was thinking, am i shouldn't appear at that time or i should just keep myself alone
at home during that time. Sigh~~~
I seriously don't feel good!
We are so near, yet you are so far away from me! I sincerely can feel that.
I feel like left over, i hate that kind of feelings~
I wonder, whats had happened and make all this?
I have no idea, what should i do to take you back with me
I feel kinda lost without you!
I am upset when u refused to listen to me or even talk to me
When i cannot talk to mum, dad, A and B, u r the only one who cares me alots,
listen to me and debating for me!


Sigh........ another struggling
i hope God could lead me through this all
Cause i am really lost in no where...........


sorry foe being so lost
sorry for being so immature
sorry for being so weak
sorry for being so dependence
sorry for being so demanding

i dont know where to go.......

Slacking...

Well, as my title had show everything!
This ain't a good thing for me!!!
BAd......i am totally on holidays mood, although i got lots of thing
need to do~

However, have talk to S during afternoon,
she told me third year is much more easier than second year,
i was like itis? I don't think so
It's the same if you don't put any effort on it
however, there might be some easier way as in
more understanding? more easier to catch up? have a clue on what to do
and what's going on?
I am not sure, but i think it's kinda cool for me

I went shopping again and again......
i can't help myself, seriously need help!
and i keep on procrastinated !!! i know i can't!!!
i should really catch up when i back, no more slacking
do more research, more understanding and read more journals articles

Today went for my visa appointment, the advisor help me a lots
big thanks for her, she have been so kind to me~ i love her!
but i am really tired, i dont know why `a bad sigh`

Well, life move on! i am still preparing!
i will faced all the challenge when i am ready! keep going
Gambateh ~~~

Clubbings~

Yesterday have a great dinner @ G place, B is our chef~
between, i love the hai nan chicken so much~ i just love the
steamed chicken in pink color, hahaha~
Then, we have big root soup, its yummy yummy

After that, Tammy came for the soup as well!
Then she said, she going to Madam Koo and ask us to join also
Actually, i am not really in mood to join them, but i feel like
having my night life back as well, so i agree to go with them
Well, have a glass of Jagerbomb, i am still very awaken!
i don't dance much, cause it's freaking hot inside and lots of people
Crowded, people was pushing you and her.........creepy!!!

I think i am not good in social, cause i don't always smile
i usually turn my face into black as i don't want stranger who come close to me
but, i think this is not good, even when people are trying to show they
are friendly to you, but u r in that face, then nobody dare to go near to u
But then, it was like a mask already which very hard to take it down
Sigh, a bad habit of mine!

Hmmm, knew a sibu girl last night from there, was surprised actually
Cause one of my fren told me all of her housemates are sibu gang,
but i know none of them! lolsss
Actually, i need to tidy up my heart to do some work of mine
especially, i need to write my proposal and need to hand in next week
but i don't even start my journal articles yet!!!
Time to quite down myself and start reading lor..........

Have a nice days, time to study study study T.T

十月之散文

原以为什么都不想懂得我
却什么都懂了
不停的欺骗自己，换来的却是措不及手的成长
当我们认识的那一天起，原来只是个错误
我哭泣，
我自责，
我抱怨，
我颓废，
最终，还是逃不了回忆的折磨

虽说，人总是常常忘记的动物
但是，记忆却永远都抹不去，只不过是被淡忘了
伤口虽然痊愈了，但疤痕始终还在～

想说，对不起，我想原谅你，但我做不到
你，让我很失望，让我不知道还应该要怎么去面对你
也许，你真的不在乎，那么我，又何尝不是呢？
因为，我没那么有力的心脏，我不能抵抗你所给我的无所谓
我真的已经不在乎了
因为，真的痛了。。。。。

希望有一天，我可以遇到一个让我从新找回那个以前的我～

I pray for u! I DO =)




Haven't been in church
since I dont remember when
Things were going great
Til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher
As he told me what to do
Said:"you cant go hating others, who done wrong to you"
Sometimes we get angry
But we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do his job
And you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out
Running down a hill
I pray and flower pot falls
From a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray your flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are
Honey, I pray for you

Really glad I found my way to church
Cause I'm already feeling better and I thank God for the words
So I'm gonna take the high road
And do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messing up
And I'll keep praying for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110
I pray you pass out with your best friend
And wake up with his and her tattoos
I pray your brakes go out
Running down a hill
I pray and flower pot falls
From a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray your flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car
Wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
I pray for you~~~

唠叨

今天就想上来唠叨下～
我觉得，我真的很喜欢唠叨别人
但是，有时候我不敢，因为我觉得我没那个资格去唠叨，或者说，我没自信我这么说是对的
但是，在我的原则里，总有那么一本我所谓的原则是我不能打破的

总是有人不明白，当你越唠叨时，就代表你有多么的在乎他
如果一个人对你没有任何的影响力，说真的，你连理都懒得理他！
一个可以左右你的人，就证明了他对你有多么重要，又或者你有多么重视他
无论是你喜欢或者你不喜欢的人，所以切记。。。
不要让你不喜欢的人，左右你的心情，左右你的决定！

哈～～～～～～～今天托妹妹的富，起了大早，因为她打电话来，被吵醒了！
不敢再睡回去，怕等等上课来不及！因为我一定会睡过头，太嗜睡了
昨天去血拼了。。。。花了好多钱
我自己都不敢看了！呵呵！！！
下个礼拜是妹妹生日了，希望我快点把功课做好，然后就可以玩了咯！

嘻嘻。。。。。。。

记忆

突然有心情想上来写写～
总觉得，在外面的日子，让我成长了很多很多
学会了很多事情，学会了独立，学会了什么事都要靠自己！
人的一生都在学习。。。

前天和堂妹聊了几句，其实我的心情很郁闷，因为有好多功课的压力
我真的不能负荷我的压力，好想爆炸～
她和我说了她的决定，其实，我知道～有些事她还是不会多说，但是，她愿意说，我就愿意听
无论你在哪里，我都会支持你！如果心情不好，可以找我，我会听！
我好久好久没和你见面了～
以下是她要我写在这里的～哈哈

还记得小小年纪，我们常粘一起，到处跑
尤其是在店里，很喜欢和你在一起玩
第一次，我们玩得太疯了，你跌倒了。。。还留了好多血，在那里大哭
我看傻了！我妈赶紧抱你到诊疗所～
记得我们一起补习，你被老师打，也哭了（因为那个老师有点疯）我也被他打得好惨，你怕死了
记得，我们常常在一起做一些很笨的事，你到了古晋，我们还常通信
你常常很怕事，都是躲在我后面，要不然就静静的～
记得，我们第一次一起在我家做了一个蛋糕，结果那个蛋糕像水一样～做坏了
好多好多的事，我都快想不起来了
当你告诉我，也许十年后你才回回来～也就是说，也许十年后我们才能在见面
我都快忘了我们的回忆
我都快忘了你每次捂住嘴巴不停的笑
我都快忘了你因为笑太多，嘴角裂了，还不停的涂药
我都快忘了你总是放了屁后才说，不好意思我要放屁了～
我都快忘了你总是躲在身后的你
我都快忘了你因为HIE KEE 笑得像疯人一样
我都快忘了那个无面不欢的你
我都快忘了那个喜欢穿七分裤和拖鞋的你
我都快忘了可以和我们一起无所不谈的你
我都快忘了那个叫maggie 面的家伙～

我想你了，亲爱滴，真的好想

谢谢你，有空时陪我聊上几句，虽然我们很少聊天
但是我们都聊重点～
收到了你在远方的鼓励，你也要加油啊～
一个人在外面不容易，所以我们都要加油哟！

爱你哟～