The Last Day?!?!

Hurray!!!!!!!!
It's the last day for my assignment already!!!
Feel kinda relax after finished it but not totally!
As fighting with my assignment for few days
really exhausted now, due to lack of sleep, cause always been awake
in the morning and prepared to rushing my assignment again
wondering, when can i stop this kind of life?
If i continue my life like this i will fancy of sleeping
haha.......dont feel wanna wake up after that!

Well....i can't relax now
after hand in my assignment tomorrow,
i need to prepared for my exam already
as my exam have start next week! oh my god~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dont know how to explain my feelings now
just a brief, short, fast bloggy to update

its 4.18 am now
sleepy actually but brain is worrying my assignment
.........

B
Y
E

I am not in emotion.......

Well....Today is kinda fine
and mummy is here for 3rd days.....actually just 2 days
All i want to say is, we are really not a family! LOL?

I don't know why someone always get jealous so easily?
Cause she is still young? still immature? still waT?
Well, i accepted the reason! cause i know....She is just immature
and under protecting always as she always want someone to be with her
I tot i can really love her like my sister, but its totally hard
but still i love her........

Why do ppl always complaining about others and never look at themselves?
Is this just usual in our life? No......
if i am going to complain someone i will think about whether if i am
in that way or wat!!! I won't blaming something simply okay!
Why u always want to debate so much when ppl complaining about u?
At the end u also don't want to admit... And again debate turn up
LOL......i trying to be patient trying to dont say so much
trying to shut my mouth up, trying to follow ur style as i love you like my sis
As i love u as a family in this house

i learn to let go.......
i learn to be patient, learn to forgive, learn to say nevermind!
I am just trying so hard to do so, and praying for god that
please let go my feelings!

And why why why everytime you like to make ur own decision without
asking others? LOL......
may be this is just ur style and can never be changed!
Well.....at the end? i am still trying to accept?
or else.....wat can i do, i don feel wanna see someone
crying and come and talk to me or wanna ask for attention

Anyways......JUST LET IT GO~

Lord,dear lord please forgive me
forgive my selfishness!

Thanks lord!

I am totally mad!!!

I am totally mad, yes i am!!!
I don't know why i am mad, what's the point of mad...
And may be nobody knows as well!

I feel so bad now, since yesterday, when sharon told me something
i started feel very angry? yeap, its the right adjective! After that, i feel so angry
and nothing can calm myself down! i also don't know why.
May be i am too mind of it or u can say i am small gas!

Really, i feel so bad and i feel no life is no more colorful!
The colorful life is not more for me. I had lost my confidence.
I am thinking i am fat and ugly and useless and stupid and nobody likes and all bads
i feel very bad! i feel like i am the girl 5 years ago...
I build my confidence wall for 5 years and he just throw a bom to destroyed it
It's really bad, i don't know why i am sad angry mad...

i just want to quit all the entertainment outside the door,
quit all gathering, quit all the meeting and meeting friends,
quit going out beside shop in supermarket and library!

NOW, I　JUST WANT TO SAY LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
DON'T COME TO BOTHER MY LIFE AGAIN! I JUST WANT TO STAY INSIDE MY CORNER NOW!

There's a long long journey~

Had been very long didn't update any of my blogs!!!
Well...had been very busy with my assignment and my life nowadays...
Or may be it just an excuses? Well...i am really lazy =x
haha.....

I don't know what should i shared now cause there are too much things
to share......
Really ...i want to thanks God that let me know CC and Sam.... really
feel surprised i said SAM ??? well.... he is my ex? or just a stranger that
past by my life? Uhh...anyways, just forget it, he is not that importance anymore!
What i want to say at the first, i really feel that he hurt me so much
but now i want to say thank you to him cause he hurt me so much!
I am totally life in the blessed of Jesus now!!! Thanks Lord that i had go back to
your kingdom, i don't want to be lost again!
I am totally awake now!!! As i know i shouldn't be together with him
but still i don't believe and i do whatever i want to do and at the end its hurt
i need to taste the feelings and accept the sentences as this is my responsibility
cause i choose this way! NOW~
NO MORE......i want to have choose a very right one but not just simply?
or i can say whatever? lols......

Have no idea, but what i had learn was don't be silly anymore
thanks god to give me this lesson......
God is really amazing in my life!

Dam idiot Sharon....

See my topics?
I am just totally speechless with you~
And yet i don't feel wanna to argue with you!
Well.......
What i want to say is i do really have STRESS okay!
I have lots pressure as well!!!
Don't always criticised on my hardwork and yet you think you the only one
who feel stress......

Sometimes, when i really feel stress, when i hope to find someone to cry to,
when i don't know how to express my stress and i will never tell you
as you know your style......Will you have stress?
Just a short sentence you make the environment Cool~

I do feel headache as well and until when you can edit your `proud`?
I just bear with it as we are family so i accepted.
I do feel weak but i really is there still someone can i talk to
or i just can press it inside myself...
I Doubt nobody can understand what is my stress!!
When feel stress doesn't mean that you need to show or tell that you are
stress, just you own can feel it....
For everyone is the same i guess!
But i do feel relief when Si yieng chat with me just now~
I feel better now but still headache!

Sigh........i really don't know how to say
i feel stressful! Like carry a big stone on me or its worry?
I have no Idea~

After Hibernating!!!

After hibernating i am awaken now!!! lols......
actually i don't know how many times when i am trying to write it
and i am just blank?!?!? and i am lazy may be write it next time
until now,its after 2 months? gosh.....

Yet i really have lot things to share!!!
Okay, i am trying to share somethings that inside my heart that
i still don't have chance to share with anybody!
Yesterday when i am singing during worship suddenly, my ex appear in my mind
and i feel very sad my tears nearly rolling down!
Immediately, i changed my focus on the people who was leading us
just then my tears was spin in my eyepit.
It was just a stranged memories for me and also very familiar instead.

Now, i don't know what i am writing and i am wondering
is this what i am going to express? Can u understand what i am talking about
Dear me....... i have lost!
Although i am lost in here but i have make some goals for myself!!!
1st - i want to have a boyfriend that can spend his whole life together with me.
And i want to really make sure that he can just then i will have a bf! haha
2nd - i want have good time management and started concern on my assignment
and studies now!!!
3rd - i am trying my best to be a disciple !!!
4th - i want to find out the balancing in my life!!!

Please pray for me!!!
I must do it! this is compulsory for me !
Gambateh!!!

Love............................................

Depraved???

Had been so long didn't update my blogs! cause been so depraved during the holidays!
What i can say is....laziness!
Why i named is with depraved cause i really feel i am!
Wake up,surfing on da net, eat,toilets and no more!
my God.....what am i doing during this long holidays? The answer is
Nothing! claps claps...wat a good answer~ Bravo!
lol........i am getting crazy with myself between
I am so surprised that as one of my ex classmate had married already!
Gosh...may because of the pregnancy!
the culture in Sibu getting degenerate...i realised!
sigh~ speechless
Just hope they will have a happy life

well, yesterday chatting with beatrice just found that she got a new boyfriend.
I am happy for her but also sad for myself!
I am sad not because i didn't got boyfirend and she did! i do mention this as someone had just told me this way when i ask them why! gosh
really feel so low minded! i am sad because she is getting far apart from me
Even now she was far away from me but i just feel a bit sad
no matter how i really hope that she got a nice boyfirend!

Umm... praised the lord!
Nowadays, always listen to the songs,its really nice i love it
besides i want to call CC but she never send me a msg as she promised me to
send me a msg! too bad
next week gonna start sch already! hope everything is fine!