Tiring like a dead fish........

It's long long ago from my last post...
I am not really in mood to typing for last few months, everytime when i try to type
something but always end up with blank!!!

I do feel depress, happy, sad, last few weeks.
And i started miss Sibu's moment... how terrible can you image? Just a month....
OMG!!! NO Way, i gonna stop myself from missing those moment this make me suffer!
Finally, i start my class as well... What i can say, it's boring like hell
Dad was right, this is really my last last chance!!!
I am trying to upgrade myself...really!!! i mean like knowledge? or life?
Anyways... i hope its gonna work!!!

Well.....Today i am really tired and happy tot, cause was cooking 5 dishes alone only by myself!!! Where is P??? actually, she is busy to tidy up the living room, so i force to manage everything by myself! Cool, as last, i have ready with 5 dishes. Hopefully everyone enjoy the foods, chitchating and the stupid games!
Feel like gathering getting boring without bunch of monkeys for examples, Eiyen, Eijing, Ahlung!!! lolsss... U know why? Cause they always get involved in and then end up with dry laugh! hahaha.......It's FUNNY MAN
As long as its funny for me...lalala

Really need to pass my exam! my exam! sigh.....
i feel hopeless with it but i can do nothing beside facing it
i hope can draw nearer to God, and i wanna try to change myself
i really don't care whether i can change u into other mind or not! But as least, i am
trying to change myself!!!
What i can do is js bless and pray for u!
Hope u fine thr............

x.x TIRED

Night....

Feelings when i am reaching UK.....

Da 1st day when i reach Newcastle, S is leaving now to stay in the homestay!
Well, although i knew it, but when she is leaving i feel kinda sad! And also the
feeling is just in time to appear at da time! Gosh.......
My heart is like press by the stone, i feel suffer! BREATHLESS!
I didn't have chance to walk in and even say Hello to her guardian since
Shirly said, let's go~ i feel bad about that, i don't know what should i answer at
that time, should i say, wait? (cause S don't even got a number, i can't call her!
And i don't know whether she is good over there or not!)or i should go in her house and have a tea 1st? its blank inside my mind, and i just sit back into the car~

Shirly drove away, then she said, everything was changed!
Tears, is rolling inside my eyes~ i feel bad! why everyone is Gone?
After i reach home, i saw Peony! She said she is happy cause finally i've back,
She is not more alone in da house~ But for me......i am still alone!
Cause S is not with me, and P is not back yet!
I feel a bit comfort cause P is coming back, and also i got P to talk to!
However, who knows~ P is back..................

Wuhoo, should i be happy with that? The answer is NO!!!
Although P is back, her cousin is with her. Of course i welcoming them to stay here
but P never care about us! She is busy? busy with her cousin!
Well......or i should never care about that? i feel disappoint ....
Now, its real! Everything is changed~ my flatmates, only foods never changed

Day after day, i feel its grow more conflicts!
May be we know but we never say it out~
However, i don't really like to make more conflicts so i am hiding it. try to tolerance hope it might bring peace~

Now, i actually feel that, i need to grow up!
I don't really need to care much, what's the point to teach other?
I have no right to do that! Also, others never listen to you as well
So now, i am trying to bear and i know God will lead me!
thank you Lord who puts someone beside me, which i can asked for help
and talk to when i am mad......he can pull me down!
I believe i can do better after that!

Thanks God for his Love which endures forever.

Updated with some of my pictures ^-^

Hehe.........heres my pictures,
very long didn't update my blog due to my laziness lols....
Also, having busy day? or i dont know~ as long as i din't come to blog so long
Feel like to update with some of my pics, aha~ here you go
Going back to Uk very soon...gonna miss da time in sibu!!!







Tata.....................
boring x.x

Good Bye Emotion....

Teehee.............
Good bye Emotion ?!?!? = ="
That's mean i am gonna say byebye to emotion!
Cause i am and don't want to be like others~As always thinking that i am
such an emotion! Well, i wanna throw my emotion away!
I don't wanna be emotion! Well, may be u can say it hard!

However, i can tell you! Emotion, is not always follow you but you yourself
is always find emotion so make you feel so emotion, got wat i mean?
LOL....i think its all about your mind, your thinking! Thats why feel emotion...
Aha... i do feel emotion as well, very often? sometimes? always? i don't really remember, as long as...i am quit!

Doesn't mean that i will never feel emotion or upset in coming times
but i do try to get away from those emotion staff, make myself happy but not because of others or something that can bother me or mess up my mind
i just wanna get rid from that, see........I am happy now!
Yoohoo~ Pull myself out from the tricky, suffering, tough! cause i dont wanna to
have it and be with it!!!

Soon.......very soon, i need to be really really get into this social!
Get into this world.......
i still need to face a lots of difference people, difference attitude, difference personality and so on...... i don't think i can handle this well!
But i would love to try......
may be there is a smile on face, but who knows what was behind them?
I heard a pastor said, human is the most dangerous animals in this world,
Cause we never know what people thinking whoever beside us? Will he/she be loyal to you? Never never guess about that, cause this may pull u down!

Even dog can be good friend with human, dog can be loyal to human.
thats why, sometimes human rather talk to a dog compare to the human!
May be not dog, a cat? a hamster? a rabbit? ...........

=)
MAke your brain roll!
Start thinking now, start recall now!
What, why, where, when........
mind is start working now~

Everything is just go through your mind....
and things will changed difference !!!

Day after day~

Have been suffering with the sunburn since come back from KK......
I got really serious sunburn x.x After reach sibu, i go to clinic directly,
and the doctor said it's quite serious, like being pour by the hot water! LOL
i don't know i want to laugh or cry when i heard that!
All in all, i got the medicine and then dad fetch us home.

I can't even sleep well with the sunburn cause its really pain.
What i want to say the KK trip is really awesome! I am great to have this trip during
my summer holidays~
Well, i really miss those moment while in KK......The relationship was peace
everyone is happy going on! we have fun and jokes with each other without worrying
whether she/he is hurting or not? or i can say.....we just say whatever we want~
Also, this is quite bad to make decision as everyone is so cincai! LOL
Cause this is what a nice personality called AS! well......thats why i really love
i really really love to spend time with them, really love to have fun with them
Yet, we won't have any quarreling between us! thats why i am satisfied with this journey.... But, what i want to say is, i feel guilty or paiseh to make others can't
sleep well at night because of my horrible snores =x...
See, i am really mind about this actually but i also dare to admit, as we are friends

After back from KK, i feel time passing really fast, one more month to go, i am going
back to newcastle again....Last few days, while chatting with Shirley, she said i
am a choosy person on friends? Woaw...i just realised! yeap, i admit i am! LOL
Cc.....thank you to being my friends~ i really love to have you to be my friends!

Feel something is going far apart from me..i don't know why!
I don't mind actually, i don't care~ but i am making a decision!
I just want to know this is hate or love? or may be i just can be somebody or nobody
Then i don't care , i don't want to care so much! Ur life is ur business while mine
is my business, start from now~
I don't wanna to bother about you anymore...... really =)
cause u just show me that you are nothing for me! what you say are all craps...
i wunt want to try so hard to bear with u, i dont want to hide again!
You are still immature .......This is what i want to say~ well

Times go, day come...everything seems like change and change~
But personality or character will always be there x.x
a tricky mission tot sob sob....

Mapling @_@
lols
......
...
..
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miss korean foods and chicken ass lol~

Lonely World.......

Lonely World which deep inside my heart....
Feel a bit upset now, when thinking the problems that happen before
When i know S, is not that happy...i know she is still very upset
Sometimes, i really don't understand! Why those who like you and you dont like
while those who you like don't like you!!!

What happen to this world............my gosh
Why Why Why, just give me a blank world, a empty room
i don't wanna to think about it, i just wanna make my brain rest!
I just wanna stay clam...... I just wanna be silent!

Am i the one who always make mistake?
Ive no idea, i have no way to go
i feel really down, feel suffering, feel hard to breath, feel that something heavy was pressing my heart! Make my heart stop bumping ???
If life is so easy, if human is so easy, if relationship is so easy, if everything is so easy then that's not life anymore?

`Do you miss me` ? Don't know been when i have never heard of this anymore
nearly forget what does this mean.......
but just now someone ask me to miss him.......and i have no feeling on it
cause i don't really bother! Please get me someone that i wan to bother
please find me someone that i want to talk to, Please find me someone that i am interesting with !!!

OTHERs .....................
Feel like kicking myself out of this life
this hurt~ this feelings~

but it always make u pain in the bottom of ur heart~

Lost my way.......

Really, feel so lost.....
Feel so lost of myself, everyday morning go to shop and go back home at half pass five
Then what next? no any entertainment can make me feel happy...
i just feel so lost~

Sharon is sad, i can understand how sad was her...but what to do?
I myself dont even can handle this!
I have no idea what should i do........

I feel like shopping and eating to spend my time!
I feel so bad.....
i feel my life is meaningless, without spiritual
feel like my soul is floating away.....while my body is still doing the same things
Go to work and then back from work

Gosh....i dont know until when i can stop this kind of life
Just now ah c just mention that i got 50+ days left .......
WOW? i feel like missing Sibu so so so much, i feel like missing my family soo much
i feel like dont want to leave this situation, i feel like don get away that fast

YES, if i can adjust the time! But i CANT!!!
Why, i always want to have a better boy friend which is qualified for me
It is my requirement is too high? i don't think so, or may be yes
but i believe i will meet my Mr Right one day.....

Nearly forget what is the feeling in LoVe...
what i got only family and friends...

Feel a bit headache now....... of my life
why human is so weak? why we cant defend sometimes?
We always need a male to be with us...as the pastor said, female must depend on male.
Sometimes, its right but sometimes, i don really agree with it
As, now a day.... Women become strong and stronger !

I am still waiting.........

For P
Happy for u as u said u are in love?
Hope u happy as well....and open ur eyes big big and see clearly!
Bless... Muaksss~


S G
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p
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